I hate my hyperpigmentation

Where am I at seem to be so difficult and frustrated because I seem can't focus on myself because I have too much thing to worry about. When I am back home,  I can focus on myself and be committed to the process that I am planning to do. It's FAILED. I just can't do it when I am not in my comfortable zone of finding a home where I can settle and be focused. I always worry about thing that are really not important to me. It is really my fault and I should know better than that. I let the sweet and sugar juice get the best of me. I should have said No to them but they are so damn resistible. lol. When I am at home, I drink a lot of water. Now I am at a friend's house, it is hard. I just totally mess up my water system in my body. Drinking a lot of water can help to remove hyperpigmentation. It is so difficult for me but I need to do this myself If I want to feel more beautiful.  I drink Brisk juice such as raspberry tea and sweet tea, Pink and lemonade juice & less water. UGH. LESS WATER, that is not good at all. I rarely drink soda which is a good thing but I am trying to avoid soda as much I can. Last night, I went to church and there was a lot of soda, water, and brisk drink. so I chose Brisk tea with  lemonade over water and soda.. Shame on myself because I should have choose water. frown. I usually drink 4  bottle of water a day but only one..I need to do so much better. 

I would love to have her skin. so beautiful

Anyway, I have a beautiful skin and it is very smooth. One thing irk the shit out of me and it is my hyperpigmentation. I can't stand look at myself in the mirror and I see all this ugly black spot on my forehead, chin, cheek, and nose. I really need to do something about it. You see me as a attractive women but you don't see my hyperpigmentation. Sometime I wondering, what the hell wrong with you/? It is very ugly. Can you see that? i know I  do think I am a very attractive but it is not ENOUGH.I am so insecure of my skin, and my look. I think look is very important to me but I don't care about the rest of my body because they are not going anywhere as long I keep my body in shape. Very Much. I break out when I am too much stress and one of my condition can cause me to break out and push too much pressure on me which I can't handle. I tend to pick on my sore  which was a bad very idea. I do it when no one is watching me. I really need to stop doing that and stop making it a habit. 

I think I need a bleach cream, bleach, peel, and whatever to get my color back to even tone of my skin. I want to feel more beautiful. I don't feel beautiful at this moment. I got a man who is very attractive in me. I sometimes think he is very crazy. Come on, I am proud to have him as my man if my hyperpigmentation does not bother him that much. 

 

I have a question. Will Proactiv and Skin Id will be helpful for my skin. I have been wanting to try their product. I just hope it does not cause my skin to break out. That is what I am afraid of. All I want to get rid of my hyperpigmentation. I still using Noxema and my skin LOVES Noxema.

Dear Hyperpigmentation, 

               You gotta go, like seriously. You are getting worse. I am not going  to allow you to make me feel more ugly. I need to go to therapy for this if you keep acting up. You gotta go and leave my beautiful skin alone. 

Sincerely, Beautiful Skin.

Goodbye to Bally Fitness

Hey, My bloggers,

Goodbye, Bally Total Fitness

I know ya'll miss me or I might be wrong. I know I miss you all. I most definitely miss writing my blog and my blog miss me, too. I always write on my notepad when I am going somewhere.

I had been out of town for almost four weeks. I kinda miss working out a lot back home. Since I have been out of town, I have lost track of doing my workout mission. I usually keep a journal of how many laps and miles I did for a week on daily basic. I did work out 3 or 4 time a week at Bally Total Fitness in two weeks. I really enjoying myself at Bally Total Fitness. Bally Fitness was very nice and they have everything but it is extremely sad that Miss does not have that. They do have Anytime Fitness. I can say Anytime Fitness is so much better than Bally Total Fitness because you can go in Anytime Fitness with your id card ANYTIME. I mean early in the morning, or late at night but the price, I can't comment on that. Bally Fitness is cheaper, tho as I think.  I have been lifting heavy weight. I guess I am trying to gain muscle to tone my body up. I love weight lift. Last Monday was my last day to do my last work out at Bally Fitness because my 7 days pass expired. I am going to miss working out with my girlfriends there. Since two days, I have not work out and I have been very lazy. I said to myself, I better get my black ass up to find something to do within the next day. I finally went to the park and did more than 15 miles in 3 hours. It is not that bad unless I am burning alot of calories. Important I work out and lost weight and eat healthy. I am trying not to eat late at night but I am going to try to avoid that as much as I can. I don't know if I have been losing any weight since I have been here. I really don't pay attention on my appearance. I hope I am toning my body up nicely.

Welcome Anytime Fitness

Dental care

Six years ago, one of my cavities came off on the back of my teeth. I was going to the doctor to have it pull out but I kept postponing of getting it done. Dentist cost way too much. I need to start to take better care of my pretty teeth. It cost around $200 or up to get this tooth pull out which included x-ray, dentist's visit, & whatever they put on the bill. So it was not that bad as it kept the hole in the back of my teeth. I know it might sound very gross to you but I'm not going into dept of it. I'm gonna keep it plain and simple. I was going to get it filling in it but I screamed my lung out because it cost over 500 or more. I could have pay off my bill with kind of money. Chewing gum and eating sweet are killing all of my cavities in my tooth. I really need to stop chewing gum and stop eating sweet too much. A couple days ago, one of my tooth in the back cracked which had hole in it while I was chewing gum. I said to myself, “It is time to get it pull off now.” “NO MORE POSTPONE.“ I have glasses, now this tooth, what is next? I am not planning to have more health issue. Health issue + More money = UGH.

Life will never be that easy because everything in life cost way too much. I know nothing in life will ever be free. I gotta work very hard to save up to get particular bill done. I get the feeling that the dentist will advise me to get all my four wisdom tooth pull out. UGH, more money for that. I aint going to have my pretty teeth going bald. I'm too young for that. My pretty teeth really need me. I'm planning to stay healthy until I reach 100 years old and up. LOL. It is impossible. Maybe less than 100. God have a great plan for my life. I gotta have my pretty teeth. I hope I get this tooth pull out as soon as possible and my wisdom tooth at the end of the year. One of my tooth gotta go before the rest of my other teeth are ruin.

My pretty teeth need me. lol

My Baby Phat glasses look cute on me.

 

Couple a week ago, I finally received Baby Phat glasses just in case if they called my aunt's house to let me know my glasses is ready to be pick up. I am so excited to wear it but at the same time, it left my eyes in little pain. I feel like I want to stop wearing it. My friends advice me that I have to get used to it. It gave me migraine and feeling sleepy. Maybe glasses is not for me but I do not have a choice.Eyes contact is out of option because I do not feel like putting contact every time. I will have to get use of wearing it. I can see very clearly and smoothly, And, also I can see far which is so much better so I don't have to tweet my eyes every time. When I take my glasses off, it hurt to watch television and left my eyes blurry. Is it normal for eye to behave like that? I think I am going to use this glasses for farsighted but I can see real good when nearsighted. It will be so much better for me to start wearing now before my vision will be bad in the future. I regret of not wearing glasses ten years ago and I should listen to my eyes doctors. I don't want make any more regret later in the future.It is not necessary for me to wear glasses all day unless I am going out for drive or walking or whatever. 

 

I think I look real cute in baby phat glasses when I look in the mirror. I will never ever buy this expensive brands. It murder my money in my pocket but I hope it is worth my money. I am shocked that I have to wear glasses and I HATE glasses but I will get used to it. What do you think of my new look with glasses? 

My good friend made a statement that I look like a nerd style in sexy glamor in a good way. lolling at the nerd part. I don't see myself in that. I guess I look good.

Basketball practice left me in pain.

OMG.. All of my body is in pain and barely can't move at all. Basketball practice was good and left me pain all over it. My team and I practiced for 5 hours and I am most def. worn out. I did scrimmage against the guys and made us even more tougher. I am so surprised at myself  that I am not scared to practice against that guys like I am always be so picky and not being so strong enough to be tough I always avoiding playing against the team and not showing my talent on the court. My leg is killing me because I put too much pressure when I try to run. Before basketball practice, I did 5 miles at the track. I think I overdid and the pain started to ache everywhere. I thought i was going to hang in there at practice. I barely couldn't do anything. I try my best to catch up with the players and running back and forth. It was painful as hell. My coach got on the court and telling me to RUN. lolz. I gotta practice hard to be prepared for the game this coming week. I tried to hide from my coach but he know where to find me. I was like damn, how did he know where I was. I was not ready to play because I am in so much pain. NO PAIN, NO GAIN. Oh well, pain is a damn bitch. It is a great feeling but when you move, it is a bitch. .

My vision condition

I am very disappoint in myself and I could not believe it. It is partially my fault and I should have wear glasses long time ago but I chose not to wear glasses. If I listen to my doctor more, my vision will get much better. All through my life, I hate wearing glasses and it as not my thing. Back in the day, I think all of those glasses were ugly and i couldn't afford to buy those expensive brand name. Now I have a chance a purchase those brand name that I really want. I took eye exam couple a day ago and I was in so shock that my doctor told me that I have bad vision. I almost cried from there but I try my best to hold inside until I arrive home. I have this thing called Astigmatism which mean a vision condition that causes blurred vision due either to the irregular shape of the cornea, the clear front cover of the eye, or sometimes the curvature of the lens inside the eye. To be honest, I can't see far away. It had been like that since I was in high school. I gotta accept the fact that I have to wear glasses even though I hate it very much. either wear it or go blind. I finally got this brand name BABY PHAT which cost too much. My medicaid won't pay for it. yea, I pay it with my own money. UGH.. I hope I am going to take good care of this glasses so i won't have to pay it from my pocket for the next five years & promises myself that I will continue to wear glasses.

Red Velvet Cake

When you look at this picture, what do you see, how do you feel? look yummmy don't it? make you want to bake them. 


Red Velvet cake is a cake that is rich and sweet with dark red to bright red color. It seem to be the popular cake in the southern United States. I had this urge to bake Red Velvet Cake so bad but every time I go to Walmart, it run out immediately. No wonder it is so popular these day. Last week ago, I finally decided to buy some and it was cheap. I am not that good of baking but I am going to give my best. I was just in the mood to bake. It can become messy when you messing with food coloring. I have to say that I love Red Velvet cake and taste so damn good. like sex on cloud 9. It had been year that I have eaten Red Velvet cake. My friends always telling me that I will pack a pound if I eat it. If I ate the whole cake, of course, I will gain a couple of pound. or I am going to be into food coma. lol. One piece or two of cakes won't do any harm. Red Velvet Cake won't attempt me to eat more. I need to make cream cheese frosting which I never learn how to make it. I searched for recipe and I am going to try it. Red Velvet had become my favorite cake and this is going to be my wedding cakes. lolz.