I hate my hyperpigmentation

Where am I at seem to be so difficult and frustrated because I seem can't focus on myself because I have too much thing to worry about. When I am back home,  I can focus on myself and be committed to the process that I am planning to do. It's FAILED. I just can't do it when I am not in my comfortable zone of finding a home where I can settle and be focused. I always worry about thing that are really not important to me. It is really my fault and I should know better than that. I let the sweet and sugar juice get the best of me. I should have said No to them but they are so damn resistible. lol. When I am at home, I drink a lot of water. Now I am at a friend's house, it is hard. I just totally mess up my water system in my body. Drinking a lot of water can help to remove hyperpigmentation. It is so difficult for me but I need to do this myself If I want to feel more beautiful.  I drink Brisk juice such as raspberry tea and sweet tea, Pink and lemonade juice & less water. UGH. LESS WATER, that is not good at all. I rarely drink soda which is a good thing but I am trying to avoid soda as much I can. Last night, I went to church and there was a lot of soda, water, and brisk drink. so I chose Brisk tea with  lemonade over water and soda.. Shame on myself because I should have choose water. frown. I usually drink 4  bottle of water a day but only one..I need to do so much better. 

I would love to have her skin. so beautiful

Anyway, I have a beautiful skin and it is very smooth. One thing irk the shit out of me and it is my hyperpigmentation. I can't stand look at myself in the mirror and I see all this ugly black spot on my forehead, chin, cheek, and nose. I really need to do something about it. You see me as a attractive women but you don't see my hyperpigmentation. Sometime I wondering, what the hell wrong with you/? It is very ugly. Can you see that? i know I  do think I am a very attractive but it is not ENOUGH.I am so insecure of my skin, and my look. I think look is very important to me but I don't care about the rest of my body because they are not going anywhere as long I keep my body in shape. Very Much. I break out when I am too much stress and one of my condition can cause me to break out and push too much pressure on me which I can't handle. I tend to pick on my sore  which was a bad very idea. I do it when no one is watching me. I really need to stop doing that and stop making it a habit. 

I think I need a bleach cream, bleach, peel, and whatever to get my color back to even tone of my skin. I want to feel more beautiful. I don't feel beautiful at this moment. I got a man who is very attractive in me. I sometimes think he is very crazy. Come on, I am proud to have him as my man if my hyperpigmentation does not bother him that much. 

 

I have a question. Will Proactiv and Skin Id will be helpful for my skin. I have been wanting to try their product. I just hope it does not cause my skin to break out. That is what I am afraid of. All I want to get rid of my hyperpigmentation. I still using Noxema and my skin LOVES Noxema.

Dear Hyperpigmentation, 

               You gotta go, like seriously. You are getting worse. I am not going  to allow you to make me feel more ugly. I need to go to therapy for this if you keep acting up. You gotta go and leave my beautiful skin alone. 

Sincerely, Beautiful Skin.