Weight loss problem

All through my life, I have been a thick girl since my childhood. I have been struggle to lose weight for year. It is not like I am a big girl..I just have large frame which it can't be rid of. The picture above, I weight around 160 dues to stomach virus  and working at the chicken plantation at different time which I lost weight dramatically. I feel so small when I was weighting 160 when I was chilling with my girlfriends at the club. The worst comment I get from my friends are,"who is that girl and I didn't even recognize you? what happen to you and your ass?" oh lord. I was like, where is the rest of me goes? I miss being a thick at that time. lolz.  If I weight 140,  I will be very skinny. I don't want to be THAT skinny but I just want to be healthy and fit. I have been weighting 180 ever since I graduated from high school and still weighting it now but I sometimes lose weight from time to time, tho. Once I lose 20, or 40lb, I gained it all right back. ugh. Strange is that if I weight 180, i won't gain anymore weight.  And I also want to be able to fit any of those sexy jean. At this moment, I am a size 15 but I WOULD love to fit in size of 11/12. I think it is just a number unless you don't go over. 

I love to fit in those colorful skinny jeans.

For the past summer, I never ever thought in my mind that I will go over 190. It totally shocked my eyes when I went to the doctor to check on my weight. I do not have any health problem at all. I do not have any children either but I have been told many time that I have a body like a mother. I always have this chubby stomach which I dislike very much. I am very surprise that I have flat stomach which showing on the picture above. I am wondering where did I get this stomach from, I don't even drink alcohol to get a bellies. I guess I got it from my father.  For my age, I am not suppose to weight 190 lbs and I am only 30 years old. My mama told me that I am not big but just have big bones. The number I weight that time is extremely putting stress on me. Many people shocked that weight 192 because I don't even look that that big. "Man be like, why are u trying to lose weight, u are not big and u are fine as hell, leave the weight alone."  They like what they see but i do not like what i see. I feel big and fat. Maybe I need to tone up a little bit. What do you think?

I HATE eating breakfast cuz I am not a morning person. I barely eat and I don't feel hungry in the morning. I started to get back on walking and I will try to eat right. It seem so hard to do it. .

"Remember that eating a healthy breakfast is the best way to start off your day, and be good to yourself by eating a healthy breakfast. Notice how much better you feel through the morning and the rest of the day when you don't skip breakfast."- I will keep that in mind. 

 

I WOULD LOVE TO BE SERENA WILLIAMS. She is a perfectly of example of being big boned and thick.. She is my favorite athletic even though I don't know how to play tennis. I was told that I look like her which I don't see myself in her. Maybe far distance, u might can see as I guess.